When and How to Un-Friend

Your cheer teammates often turn out to be your greatest friends.

Like family. And that’s awesome. But what happens when there are people in your life- either in cheer or outside of it- who don’t lift you up and always seem to drag you down?

We have some advice for you here, and we are not beating around the bush today. If you want your life to be awesome, you have to start with what makes you joyful. Including the people around you. So we gotta’ ask: Why are you agonizing over that consuming “friendship” that exists in your life right now?  Why are you trying to figure out how that relationship went wrong, why someone is gossiping about you at school, or how you can make it right? Why are you worrying yourself sick over getting someone else’s approval, and why-o-why do you keep setting yourself up for them to not call you back, let you down again, fail to show up, or beg you to do one more favor for them?  Ewwww….. that hit a nerve, huh? You can see his or her face right now, can’t you?

Ok, here’s the truth. We’ve all had friends occasionally let us down. We’ve made the same mistakes ourselves. That’s not who we are talking about today. Our encouragement for you is to keep your eyes wide open here when we tell you that if there are people in your life who continually are holding your back, letting you down, slowing you down, doubting you, or plainly disappointing you, it is time to let go.

If you are looking in the mirror right now, its time to set yourself free.  If you are truly ready to be all that you were intended to be, you must stop allowing others to hold you back. No matter the past circumstances.

Here’s how to know when to let go, un-friend, and finally free yourself of the pain, stress and drama:

1.  First and always: Make sure you are being exactly who you want to be in this relationship. If you want them to support you in your mission, you MUST inform them what that mission is. And then you must empower them to help you in that mission.  If you haven’t done that yet, start with that simple communication so they know what truly matters to you. You may not need to un-friend after all.  Before you enforce the boundary, you must create it and get on the right side.  Start with you, and all YOU can do to fight the good fight and do what is right first.

2.  If you have exhausted all that exists in step one, and you have already clearly communicated where you are being let down or where needs are not being met, and they are still letting you down… now’s the time. Un-friending someone does not have to be a big deal. It can, and should be, as simple as you no longer going out of your way.  Often, its not even an out-loud conversation. Its an internal conversation you have with yourself to just create the boundary.  There need not be a giant argument…its just you protecting yourself and your legacy by purposefully surrounding yourself with others who will lift you up, protect you, celebrate with you, and even hold you truthfully accountable to what is right. And the only way to do that is to dis-engage from those who do not.

If you are still struggling to let go of a toxic friendship, consider the resulting freedom the greatest gift you can give yourself and to them. What is sapping your energy is certainly sapping theirs, so do them the favor of setting you both free to move on in the most loving way you know how. Anything less would be un-authentic. Wishing you all the best in your friendships….


Posted in: Cheer Athletes, Cheer Coaches, Cheer Gym Owners, Cheer Parents

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